I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize