i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
