I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
