Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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