Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
