i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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