My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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