all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
