Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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