Swine flu. Run for my life!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize