Please, let me fuck your mom
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
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