Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
