READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize