Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
