Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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