I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
