I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
