Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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