porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
