My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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