I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
