Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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