she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
