i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
