Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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