Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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