I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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