who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
