im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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