update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
