i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize