Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm like, not good at living.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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