Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
