Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
