Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
