im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize