Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
