Cold hands, warm shart.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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