whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize