I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
