are you still at the devil's house?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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