If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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