Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
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Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
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I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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