susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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