I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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