my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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