so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
