You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Are we still banned from the library?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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