You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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