I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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