Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
