I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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