Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize