And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
