White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
