she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
