why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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